Breaking

There are days, series of days, months, etc. that one just has no desire to do much of anything, eat anything, drink, work, or for that matter exist anywhere other than locked up in a room doing nothing but sleeping, praying or reading. Today is one of those days. As a matter of fact, the last few days have been like this.

At first one would think this is normal for one on the cusp of illness. I would like to believe this. But no, not the case here. Then one would think this is a sure sign of borderline depression. Hardly the case. One of the final hypothesis you could think of would be that one is suffering from a broken heart. Well, that one is kinda true, but not like one would think (Janda and I are actually closer now than we were even 1 year ago - PRAISE GOD!).

It is moments like these that I am really trying to learn to give it to God. Over the last few days, I have had no problem in giving everything to God. The hard part is not acting like a two year old who just had its toy taken from him. Now the funny part of this it that I can actually see me doing this with God. Hand stuff to him, telling him I don't want the _________ (insert word) and then stomping my feet fighting with him to take it back for myself. Not only am I seeing myself in this situation, but I am seeing too many of us Christians doing this daily. It is with seeing this that I find myself suffering from a broken heart.

My youth kids are great. They are growing. I am growing with them. As with any teen, they have a long way to go. As with any Christian, I have a long way to grow as well. John Wooden said, "It's what you know after you learn it all that matter." I see this more each day. John Wooden, great basketball coach, great speaker, great person and a great man of God.

So today I strive to be more like Christ (sans the dying of a broken heart) and John Wooden instead of the two year old I frequently see.