Social Media - It's Beauty and Ugliness

I began writing a post earlier today that I felt was going to serve a purpose in making a point that needed made.  As you can see, this is not that post.  No, that post was to vague.  It was written so as to not offend but state my case.  Maybe I should have kept it.  And, I may regret not keeping it.  No big deal.  Sometimes, those types of blogs aren't what needs to be said.  Nope, no words in those types of blogs will do any justice to the thoughts running through my head.  So this post is what you are stuck with.  Here is my single warning to you though - you will be offended.  You will get mad at me for saying what I have to say.  You will deem me a fool for saying these things.  You might also find even more faults in my words than you already have in previous posts.  I'm okay with that.  I'm not even gonna be surprised if you find me among the worst individuals you know.  Just know that I'm still gonna love you for being you; consider you among my many friends; know that you are just like me - a perfect picture of imperfection.

Social media can be a great tool.  You can stay abreast of the current news topics of the day.  Events you'd like to attend are blasted all over the place keeping you in the loop for social gatherings.  I learn of concerts in the area I'd like to go to.  Social media allows us to maintain contact with friends across the country.  It is a beautiful use of a tool with the simple strike of a few keys or swipes up and down on our phones.  It is how most of us feel as if we aren't being left out of life events of family.  It is beautiful indeed.  BUT!

Social media is also where people find the strength to be someone they are not.  It is the best place to misinterpret another's beliefs/words/observations/etc.  It has become the best place to get offended/insulted/chastised/etc.  More over, it has also become the best place for christians to show the world how hypocritical/hateful/self righteous we can be.  Don't believe me?  Go scroll through you Facebook/Twitter feeds.  Go to your favorite bands Facebook page and see what kind of responses they get to some of their opinions.  And as you read through these feeds I guarantee you will get offended, you will get your feelings hurt and you will find yourself falling into the trap of saying something you will regret later.

Many times I have been the recipient of tongue lashings from people based on a post that they felt didn't line up with their beliefs.  I've shared political opinions that have rubbed some the wrong way.  I've been accused of being hateful simply because I've disagreed with an individuals ideology.  I've been fine with those disagreements, mostly because the differences of opinion has been civil and respectful.  BUT!

I'm finding there is nothing more pulverizing in a social media post that a post intended for humor that is immediately taken the wrong way.  I've personally misinterpreted someones musings as seriousness.  I've responded incorrectly to their thoughts.  I've not put myself in their shoes to understand what they were seeing/thinking/feeling.  A rush to judgement was made.  I felt they were insensitive to the masses.  When in reality it wasn't what they posted that was the problem, it was me.  I was the one having a bad day.  It was me who took offense too easily.  It was me who couldn't find humor as they could.  It was I that forgot to take the plank out of my own eye and was all to willing to point out the error of that individuals words.  Oops!

Last night the roles were reversed.  I was finding humor in the simplicity of life.  A simple observation of my surroundings that were meant to provide others a chuckle and enjoy life and the humor we as humans can provide.  I shared my thoughts of my perceived humor in the surroundings I was in and all based on those around me.  It was my attempt to not take life so seriously.  My bad!!!

I was soon bombarded by thoughts and perceived assumptions of my motives.  None of those responding to the post were near me.  Everyone responding knew I was laughing loudly for all to hear.  They knew I was mocking an elderly man in front of everyone in the restaurant I was in.  They knew I had malice in my blood and I humiliated the gentleman.  Nobody saw that I complimented the employee or that I admitted a fault I have.  They all assumed there was circumstances beyond the gentleman's control that I wasn't aware of thus hurting this persons feelings.  Everyone ignored the fact I didn't use any names.  Everyone ignored my intents and knew I was sharing what I did for pure self gratification.  I was accused of being a horrible representation of Christ; of how I should know better than to mock those with lesser capabilities than I.

To those that assumed the worst, couldn't understand my observation with the intended humor, believed in the worst of me and showed their disbelief in me...Thank you.  Thank you for making sure I knew I was human.  If it weren't for you I would never have known that life is more serious than I thought.  Shame on me for seeing humor where humor should not have been considered.  How I need to consider what potential ailments people may have before I chuckle at mere words.  I didn't know that complementing a great job by people would be overshadowed by my self centered need of being a bully.

Here's the problem though.  Your responses to me are all based on assumption.  You've used your understanding of being like Christ as a reprimand.  Your understanding of scripture has allowed you to twist God's word into your own method of shaming others.  You've used your perfection as a standard for all to live and shoved it in my face when I don't meet that expectation.  You have provided solid evidence that life should be void of levity and enjoying the simple moments of simple humor should never be shared.

I guess you've never had a good chuckle at the innocence of a child near you.  I suppose you and your spouse have never shared a good belly laugh at the words you just can't get out because of hiccups.  You probably never watch YouTube videos of the epic fails people have while on their skateboards.  You certainly haven't laughed at your co-worker jump when they realize you snuck up on them.  It is obvious you think through every little aspect of your actions; your words are always well thought out before one leaves your mouth or hits print on social media.  Silly me for not knowing that.  BUT...

All of the above isn't the saddest part of everything isn't my words.  It isn't even the fact that people responded.  Nope, not even close.  It's the fact the christians were condemning christians.  They are casting stones without knowing the whole story.  They were quick to point out the ignorance of a situation they knew nothing about.  Done for an opportunity to prove superiority and their own perfections.  All for the world to see.  All for those that already despise christians to have that disdain supported without any effort on their part.  The love that Christ says others will know we are christians certainly wasn't shown.  For them it was further confirmation that christians suck and that they will never live up to the standards christians set for the world to live by.

We are people, prone to screw up.  As christians we tend to forget the simple things in life can be appreciated in innocence without over analyzing everything.  Forgotten is how short life is and how much fun passes us by because we are too busy shooting for perfection that can never be attained.  I truly believe Christ sat around with the disciples having fun impersonating Peter and his rigidity.  When Christ had Peter walk on water, I pretty sure the other disciples laughed when his faith failed and he began to sink.  Sure there was a lesson, but what isn't accounted for is what happened afterwards when it was just Christ and the disciples around the camp fire that night.  And if Christ and the disciples could enjoy the simple things in life, why can't we?

Is it pride?  Is it a fear of accepting our own imperfections?  Are we so caught up in today societal need for political correctness that we are over sensitive to something that doesn't exist?  I don't have these answers nor do I know if there is an answer.  What I do know is that an answer may not exist.  I know that those who pointed out my errors have forgotten that like them, I am human as well.  I will never live up the their expectation of perfection just as they will never live up to any perceived expectations other have of them.  If I've been placed on a pedestal (self appointed or by others), expect failure.  If you find yourself on a pedestal, I hope you anticipate your own failure.

I expect these observations to offend many.  I fully expect those that read this will point out how wrong I am in my moment of honest reflection.  I am certain I'll continue being called a bully; insensitive; heartless; etc.  Go ahead, accuse me of that and more.  And while you continue calling me names I'll continue doing what I do to show love to those needing love.  Go ahead and look for my imperfections; I'll continue giving of myself.

For all the assumptions made about me and my insensitive actions; it's what isn't seen that really matters (as it does for you as well).  It's me volunteering time to kids; giving tickets to concerts to those who are trying with all they have to keep their grandchildren out of jail; showing compassion to a patient that has just learned they have cancer; helping someone reach something off the top shelf at the grocery store; praying with friends when they call asking for their nerves to be calmed.  I'll continue doing things in private without expectation of a thanks/recognition.

So thank you for your harsh words.  They have made me a better person.  Hopefully they will make you a better person as well.  And as for that pedestal you apparently put me on, I won't apologize for falling off.  I don't want to be up there.  I want to be on the same plane as you, as the homeless, as the janitor at your church.  If you want me up there, don't worry, Demon Hunter has a great song explaining that I will fail.  Lastly, know that despite the harsh words, I still love you as a friend; a person that adds value to my life.

Pedestal of Failure

Who’s your favorite band?  Yes, broad question and probably a hard one to answer.  So let’s narrow the scope of the question down.  Who’s your favorite Christian band or artist?  Maybe you even have a favorite speaker, minister, author or just someone you look up to.  All of us do.  Sure, some of who we look up to are family, but may still have that celebrity type person that we hold in high regard.  As I’ve gotten older, the selection of whom I look up to has been narrowed.  Maybe that is age, or maybe that is being more cautious in my influences.  Despite that, there are still those “celebrity” that I admire based on their ministry, their music, their whatever, I admire it.  I’m pretty sure, you do as well.

Of all those we admire, there tends to be a “shock” or “disappointment” when we find out one of these people falls from the pedestal we place them on.  Sadly, we are even more shocked when it’s a Christian that we find out about.  For those old enough, think back to when you found out Michael English had an affair while touring with another Christian band.  What about when you found out Jim Baker was lying to you about how he needed your money to continue preaching on TV. More recently, we had Newsboys co-founder, George Perdikis, and As I Lay Dying founder, Tim Lambesis, both profess atheism.  What are your thoughts?  Shocked?  Surprised?  Maybe even a little hurt?  Well, get used to it, especially after the letter put out by JustinCordle of We As Human.

One of my favorite songs is, “I Will Fail You,” by Demon Hunter.  Despite the song lacking the typical growling and yelling Demon Hunter is known for, it still has the lyrical strength and Ryan Clark’s haunting vocals.  The song is a in which the lyrics are a reminder that no matter the grace given, how many sins forgiven, that “I” will fail.  The “You” in this song could be taken to mean a couple different people.  1) Could be God, or 2) could be the person who is putting the singer up on a pedestal.  Either way, this song assures the listener that failure will occur, despite the grace, mercy and forgiveness given.

Another song that comes to mind is a song from The Swirling Eddies.  “Hide the Beer thePastor’s Here,” is a song that pokes fun of christians that feel they have to hide certain things from their pastor.  Beer is the main focus of the song, but the Eddies find a way to slide hate, christian college hypocrisy and lust into the mix of what get hid from our pastors.  Sadly, this song is perfect for many christian bands touring today.  Seriously, there are too many bands out there traveling to not have problems with lust, alcoholism, drugs, sex and most any pitfall available to professional athletes and celebrities.  Yes, our bands “perfect image” is most certainly anything but.

I can hear it now!  You’re mad at me for accusing your favorite band/artist of imperfection.  Well, they are human aren’t they?  But more than that, they have struggles just as you and I do.  Our churches have imperfect people in it.  It makes perfect sense that our favorites in the music industry reflect the church as an image of imperfection.  Sadly however, many of these individuals work hard at not showing those imperfections.  As a matter of fact, their management, record labels and those closest to them work hard at hiding those imperfections.  They don’t want to disappoint their fans.  They know they are under a microscope and any vulnerability they seem to believe will show them as a failure.  For many, failure isn’t an option.  There is too much to risk if there is failure.  Sadly, we as consumers have only fueled this belief that our favorite musicians need to be perfect.

I’m not saying every band/artist is crooked, drunk, or other.  There are great artists out there that are upright in everything they do, despite their humanity and the failures a sinful nature brings.  They are honest about their failures, their struggles and their temptations when on the road.  But, they also share freely about God’s grace through everything.  

Is there a fix for this problem?  No, not unless you fix our humanity and our nature to sin.  But, I do believe that there is a way to reduce the failures that are becoming so prominent.  We do have a way to keep adultery, drug use, disbelief to a minimum, even when we aren’t on the road with the band/artist.  We can, and must pray for the musician.  We need to pray for their marriages.  We need to pray for their health.  Driving is a dangerous proposition, and something that we can pray for.  We can find a way to drop them a line via Social Media, email or sometimes even text (for those that have good relationships with bands) to let them know we are thinking of them and praying for them.  Provide them with love through gift cards, baked goods and more when you go to their concerts.  These little acts of selfless God given love won’t fix everything, but it will encourage the artist.  If they know people are genuine in their care for them, and not placing them on that proverbial pedestal, the rate at which we see catastrophic failure will reduce.  And if it is just one that changes because of our love, then we as fans have done our job.

So, as fans, let us live the great commission to love our neighbor as ourselves, including those neighbors who just happen to be in our favorite band.