Seems like Heraclitus was a pretty smart guy. The irony of the statement is what gets me. The only thing that will stay the same is the very thing that is never going to stay the same. Change! Yes, change happens everyday, even for the most routine following person you know.
Some people do change well. Other abhor the thought of change. You'll find people that will take a different route to work daily just to change things up. Or you have that one person that will maintain the same schedule, same route and same everything on their way to work just to maintain consistency. But, the very efforts we put in to maintain that which we are comfortable with will prove we have no control over change. Even the Khaki wearing Jim Harbaugh will not have success maintaining change (the visual in my head of Khaki's and Jim are priceless; you're welcome). Be it a different stream of cars traveling with you on your way to work or a new policy at work, change will happen every single day. How you respond...well...there is no App for it. But, there is guidance.
Currently my life is a massive blender with nearly every facet of my life seeing change. I can't keep up with it. I'm embracing this constant merry-go-round; staring it down daily is exhaustive though. The peaks and valleys of emotions remind me of my trip on the Sandia Peak Tramway. I'm doing my best to embrace the changes. I love where most of them are going. Those I don't love, I'm still accepting.
It seems all this change is occurring at the same time. Moving; buying/selling a house; dog getting old and being put down; professional changes; no matter the situation it keeps right on rolling along and I can't seem to get anything to stop. But, it's change and it will just keep happening.
I'd like to think I'm handling it fairly well. I know I'd be lying to myself it that were the case. I might better serve everyone if I admit that at times you would think I'm at a masquerade on any given day. Some days the stresses of everything are easy to deal with. I laugh, I smile and rest on the knowledge that God's got this. Then there are days I sit in silence at my desk nearing tears and a panic attack dwelling on the unknown. I've taken everything into my own hands and knowledge as I question if God really knows what he is doing. Yet, you still see me smiling, enjoying life and acting like all is perfect. Well, all is mostly perfect. Like anything in life it comes down to perspective.
Here's my problem: I have no idea why I'm nearing panic attacks. There's no reason I'm stressing about everything. I have no reason to not believe God has this. Nothing is worth the stress, but I'm making panic acceptable. Man, I hate this!
God knows!!! He knows the hairs on my head. He knows where the bird is gonna get his food from. He knows when the lion is going to sleep. Tomorrow will worry about itself, I don't need to do the worrying (Aaron interpreted version of Matthew 6:25-34).
Do me a favor, if you would please. Next time you see me and it looks like I might be coming close to tears and a panic attack just smack me. Seriously!!! Yes, I said smack me. I very well could ask you why you're hitting me; just remind me I told you to. It's not that I don't want to be concerned about what the future is holding or how change will unfold, I just don't have justification to worry.
Now, back to the edge of my life; enjoying the change for the beauty it is bringing.
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