Friendships make life beautiful. They fill our lives with laughter, tears and celebrations. From the mere acquaintance to the lifelong friend we are continually gaining and parting with friends. Some friendships are for a short season; gone after someone moves. Other friends stick with you despite the miles; family vacations include visits with these individuals and it's as if time never passed and the stories and laughter pick up where they left off the last time you saw each other. Still other friendships are everyday; nightly drinks, phone calls, weekly dinners are all a part of this family bond you hold. Each relationship is special in its own right. We wouldn't be who we are today without those friendships. If you are reading this it might be because we call each other friend or acquaintance. Regardless, you are a part of my life, and I a part of yours.
But, I must confess something. It's kind of a twofold confession. It's something I've known but attempted to push it aside. However, over the last few months I have come to the point where I must change a few things. All good changes. Maybe not comfortable changes and certainly not expected for some. Changes though that must be made.
See, I love friendships. I love talking to people and building that relationship. I meet some fascinating people in my job. I don't mind talking to strangers and getting to know that individual. I'm fascinated by peoples stories. I enjoy the process of getting to know people and them knowing me. But, once I know you and have a relationship with you, I kinda become a horrible friend.
Allow me to clarify terrible friend status. I am a good friend; when sitting with people, when talking to them on the phone or over a cup of coffee. I'll give you the shirt off my back if that is what you need. If you call needing a listening ear, I've got two of them and will lend them anytime you have burdens or triumphs you desire to share. I've got a home that I'll share to help keep you warm; food and water to give if you need a meal; whatever I have I will gladly share. If you are a person of faith, I'll pray with and for you on a moments notice. Yes, these qualities prove I'm a fairly good friend. However, there is another side of any friendship that I'm not good at.
I suck at calling you to see how life is going. I'm horrible about just stopping by to make sure you're still breathing. Your name may run through my complicated mind for days on end, but I'll fail in discovering why. You may be the silent type rarely asking for anything and I'll allow months to pass by before I see you and inquire about your daily goings on. You may be going through divorce, a family illness or job uncertainty and unless you call me and tell me...I'm kind of a big jerk.
This discovery isn't new. I've confessed it before to a friend. I'll say it again in the future. But, the pain of admitting it while on vacation kinda got to me. God finally convinced me I have to improve. I have to be intentional in any communication with friends. You shouldn't have to be the one reaching out for someone to listen to you, cry with you, laugh with, etc. I have to be better. I will be better.
Please, accept my apology for being a horrible friend. If there is anything I work on this year, it is to be a better person in my relationships. Continue calling/texting/messaging me, but I want to reciprocate those check ins.
Now, off to be the better friend I want to be.
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