Dear God,
The last several months have been a roller coaster of epic proportions. And as fun as that sounds, I'm kinda tired of the ride. So how about you just hit the kill switch and let everyone off.
And just like the roller coaster expectations of screaming, yelling and fear, I find myself needing to scream, yell, cuss and be angry for being on this when I don't want to be. But, I can't. I can't yell, I can't cuss, I can't be angry. Instead, like the one gripped by fear on their first roller coaster, I am speechless. Well, not speechless, but close to it.
I guess I just don't really know how to respond. Sure I'm angry. Yes, the words of frustration are plenty. But, I'm thankful. Like Job not cursing you, I'm not. I'm thankful that I'm learning to lean on you again. I'm thankful that my family is alive. I'm thankful for the friends that surround my family.
I sit and wonder what's wrong with me, ya know, considering I'm not angry. Why am I unable to scream? Rage has been the option for many a men better than me. Yet, here I sit, teary eyed some days, and find myself thankful. Maybe it's because of what you've already seen me through. Maybe it's because I'm fairly certain there is more you have for me to learn. Whatever "it" is that keeps me from all out rage is a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's just because I know things could be a lot worse.
So for now, God, I guess my only request is that you hit the kill switch on this roller coaster. You know I have emetophobia and I'm pretty certain that if the ride keeps it's current pace of continuous upside down twists and turns, my wife and daughter are gonna get sick. That won't be pretty.
Thank you, God.
I sit and wonder what's wrong with me, ya know, considering I'm not angry. Why am I unable to scream? Rage has been the option for many a men better than me. Yet, here I sit, teary eyed some days, and find myself thankful. Maybe it's because of what you've already seen me through. Maybe it's because I'm fairly certain there is more you have for me to learn. Whatever "it" is that keeps me from all out rage is a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's just because I know things could be a lot worse.
So for now, God, I guess my only request is that you hit the kill switch on this roller coaster. You know I have emetophobia and I'm pretty certain that if the ride keeps it's current pace of continuous upside down twists and turns, my wife and daughter are gonna get sick. That won't be pretty.
Thank you, God.
